'Some people' say that routines are good for kids. 'Others' feel you should follow your child's lead, especially when they are babies. Should I sleep train? Should I listen to the baby's cues? At some point in a family, you fall into certain routines. Even if you don't mean to. We do not sit down for a family dinner every night. More often, I am in the kitchen either cleaning or cooking, and the boys are at the kitchen table eating. I talk to them while they eat, and I used to say things like, "How was your day?" "How was school?" Then I read somewhere that you can get more out of your child by asking the right questions.
So every night, for a while now, I have been saying, "What was your favorite part of today?" and "Was there anything bad that you remember from today?" These questions usually get a canned response from the 6 year old, "Being with my family" and "Missing you while you were at work." Cue the horrendous mom guilt. I know he doesn't mean it negatively, but rather- he really does enjoy his family, and that is great! The 3 (almost 4) year old runs down every detail that he remembers. "We went to tumbling, then we had chicken tacos, then we walked to the park, then this, then that." I usually know EXACTLY what happened during HIS day.
Last night, the two older boys and I sat down together for dinner. I had thrown together a box of Annie's Shells and Cheese- their favorite. I hadn't even thought about what to make for myself, and the hubs was going to be late. I smiled at the two boys, and found my mind wandering to what I needed to get done that night before I went to bed. Then Mayhem (the 3 year old) says, "Mama, what was YOUR favorite part of today?" He looks at me with his cherubic cheeks, and a very serious look on his face. He is really listening. It completely catches me off guard, in a good way. Is that the face that I make at him? Do I patiently wait for him to respond? I think I do, but today I am not doing a very good job with that.
I stopped worrying about what to cook, what to clean, and what to pack up for tomorrow. I told him, "Right now. This is my favorite part of today." The moment was lost on him, and it passed quickly. He chattered on about his first day back to preschool. "My friends missed me SO MUCH! Ms. Pat told me that I am doing GREAT writing my name..." and I just smiled, and listened. I write about these moments here, so that I can look back and remember these little details. These little, treasured moments in time. In this New Year, I hope I can take the time to enjoy these far too brief pauses in the chaos of my life.
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| Jacob, Baby Liam, and Mayhem |
You have to make each and every day and hour important. The problem I have with asking "how was your day", is that my son is just like my husband, and that never starts a conversation. They use 1 or 2 word answers and then I just give up. Oh well, maybe they'll talk more this year. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is heartwarming for our son to ask what the favorite part of your day is. Kids say the darnedest thing and it really makes us realize how we sometimes forget to cherish the most important experiences in our daily routine. Thank you for sharing your post. I think I should always ask that question from now on and perhaps right now my thoughts in my life planner. :) - Cara of http://StylishGeekBlog.com
ReplyDeletewhen i teach Sunday school, i ask the kids what their best part of the week was :D
ReplyDeleteGreat way to cherish the memories. I know it is easy to get caught up in the busyness of the day and forget to cherish the little things. Kids have a way of reminding us to slow down and enjoy life.
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